The Exorcism

"There are only two forces in this world, Light and Darkness. And they are in perpetual conflict. All our problems - diseases, mental disturbances, failures in business, whatever.. are due to Darkness. My job is to help people move away from Darkness, to attain Light"

The person who said the above was addressed by those around him as 'Guruji', but he looked like a normal villager, not a tantrik or sadhu. I had come to meet him on the persistent advice of some well-wishers, who had found his simple Manichean scheme(*) meaningful and had developed a certain amount of faith in his spiritual powers.

Guruji and an assistant led me into a small, dark room. I was told to sit down on the bare floor and think about God. Guruji closed his eyes in a brief spell of silence and intense contemplation. Then, he suddenly speaks:

"Oh, Darkness! (**) This man is possessed by the dark forces!" I felt him touch my head. He goes on: "Oh, Lord, you who are Light, the only true light, please chase away all the darkness... yes, it is Narakabhadrakali who has taken over this man's spirit. Lord, please, please, save him, fill his life with light. O, Supreme Lord!"

The assistant suddenly started screaming and hissing and appeared to go into an epileptic fit.
Guruji goes on: "Lord, may this man's sufferings cease, may he be freed from all the Karmic bonds, may he acquire Light, peace. My Lord!"

The assistant is now lying on the floor, writhing. Guruji grips my head and orders me to "Relax!". The next instant, his hands give a sharp impulsive twist and I hear something crack in my neck, followed by a strange lightness in the head - as if "a little bird has just flown out thru one's ears".

"Narakabhadrakali, go away! Do not torture this man. He craves for light; and the Lord is with him and wants to save him. Narakabhadrakali, go back to Hell!"

The assistant's screams and writhes cease. Guruji says: "My dear man, you are now safe. All darkness in your life has been eradicated! Come, let us go!"

I get up and follow Guruji. The assistant seems fast asleep. Outside, a few more faithful wait their turn.
.....

I woke the next morning (and the next morning and ... for several months), with a severely stiff neck.

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(*) I did argue saying "darkness and light are not opposites; if light is positive, darkness is only zero; for something negative, you got to have 'anti-light'" and so forth. But my arguments convinced nobody, myself included.

(**) I could not help remembering Blessed Lightning's "Oh, the Migou!" from 'Tintin in Tibet'