Once, There Was A Techie ...

... who loved Mathematics. He worked for almost a decade with Blue Chip companies, all the time seeking out and pondering - and usually cracking - challenging Mathematical problems. And one fine day, he left money-making and joined a full-time Academic program in pure Math.

A Semester passed. He was asked by an external agent (who is not of interest in this post) to look back at his switch, to reflect and take stock.

and thus spake the (ex-)Techie:

After 9 years, I am happy being at the receiving end again with nobody to answer to but myself ('lightness of being'?). And yes, I'm occasionally over-sleeping, disorganized and all that; but every time I consider the prospect of studying the subjects I had always wanted to, I get pretty energized ( is this state of being called happiness?) and focused. But not for long; invariably some difficult point in some lengthy proof puts me off and my mind wanders...

My concentration has dipped somewhat from undergrad days and I don't seem to persist as long as I used to with problems. This may be, in part, a response to the amount of theory I'm forced to gulp down in one go. Previously, I fed myself with nuggets gleaned from here and there and always relished them; now, profs force-feed me with Theory - pumped thru a fire hose. There is so much to learn that I'm at a loss focusing on one thing. Sometimes I fear I won't learn anything in-depth ... maybe even starve - kind of like the bird that starved to death as it could not decide which worm to eat first when there were so many good ones to eat. Anyways I'm still at it, pursuing this irrational(?) whim.